I Need Advice .. Not Ed For A Change!, Confidence needed Options

[janeddie]

Hi all - nothing serious but I am a really worrier and even though I have the most obedient and loyal dog I have ever owned, I still doubt myself. After Alfie, who was always a terrier on a mission and losing him for days on end during one of his missions, I think I am over protective with Ed! Ed has fantastic recall and is only ever a few steps away from me but I really struggle with letting him off. I know that if he spies another dog, all I have to do is change direction and he choses me instead of the other dog so why do I panic OH lets Ed off all the time, even on the smallest amount of grass or down the canal etc., but I have been on a wonderful walk this morning, loads of fields and no other dogs but I still did not let him off lead I am always thinking of what might happen instead of enjoying the moment ). I did let him off the other morning on our walk and he was perfect but I still could not relax. Once I get into a routine of letting him off it becomes easier but I seem to have gone back to step one for no apparent reason and I really worry. When I come back from a walk and have let him off, I feel great and really proud to have a dog with good recall. What is the matter with me?

[Annieskel]

Try using a long line clipped to a harness on Ed, he can trail it behind him you don't have to hold it, this may give you the confidence to let him run. Even when he go into bushes you can see were they are by the long line and call him when the line is getting too short. You can start with a very long line and gradually reduce it as you gain confidence.

[muttlover2]

I think you have to take a step back and think it through a bit more rationally. It is sometimes easy to imagine every risk -however remote -and blow it up in your mind. You sound like you are too responsible. After all, you are letting your OH let him off - why? Because he is taking responsibility so it wouldln't be "your fault" if anything went wrong?

I think sometimes with terribly over-conscientious worriers -the opposite of so many people who aren't responsible at all - the tendency can be to avoid any slightly "out of control"situations -but when you thinkabout it, that isn't taking a decision and taking responsibility for the decision-it's just a total avoidance and that's not good. We CAN'T control everything that happens. We have to take a good decision- assess the risks and do our best.

For me, I feel it is unfair for my dog to have no offlead exercise. i would also think that he would nothave a chance to practise properly how to behave in offlead situations and therefore it is my RESPONSIBILITY to practise that so that when your OH lets him off, it is better for everyone. (A little trick to cheat your worrying over-responsible mind there! )

Then, I would think of building up a habit as you say. Say to yourself- I'm letting him off for 10 to15mins in this safe field or whatever every single day. It is responsible for me to do this so that he practises recall and is able to be trained to be offlead.

Then I would build that up as you get used to it.

It sounds to me like you've got into a slight OCD way with this - so you probably know yourself the only way to deal with that is to face the fear and not allow the "habit" or negative way of thinking control you. Thestress will reduce if you just do it and build it as a habit. Say to yourself - 10 mins. Then build to15 etcetc.

You know it makes sense.

This post has been edited by muttlover2: 3rd Mar 2012, 10:22 am

[muttlover2]

Once I get into a routine of letting him off it becomes easier

Sounds like the answer is here, doesn't it? Ed sounds fantastic by the way!

[janeddie]

Wow loads of advice there and I have promised myself and Ed that tomorrow morning will consist of at LEAST 10 minutes offlead (not that he does anything when off lead, Ed don't do running, unless after a cat!)

[Dalsmum]

Do oyu go out with your husband when he lets Ed off the lead?

[janeddie]

Sounds like the answer is here, doesn't it? Ed sounds fantastic by the way!

Ed is fantastic, it's his numpty paranoid mum that is the problem I was that caught up in the fact of him being reactive to a lot of other dogs, that I forgot to notice that he now only reacts to a few other dogs

[janeddie]

Do oyu go out with your husband when he lets Ed off the lead?

Sometimes but I would rather not

[muttlover2]

Ed is fantastic, it's his numpty paranoid mum that is the problem lol.gif I was that caught up in the fact of him being reactive to a lot of other dogs, that I forgot to notice that he now only reacts to a few other dogs lol.gif

I know exactly what you mean.I'm still on the look out for things that aren't issues with mine anymore. He goes out with my dad who never thinks about any of these things and there isno problem. No probs with me either but it's like I'm super-vigilant out of habit now. But being stressed isn't helpful for the issues anyway so Ihave to just remind myself how different he is now. Notmuch point in all thisprogress if you can't enjoy things though. Remind yourself that life is for living and how far he'scome!

(Sorry got abad spacebar problem)

[janeddie]

I know exactly what you mean.I'm still on the look out for things that aren't issues with mine anymore. He goes out with my dad who never thinks about any of these things and there isno problem. No probs with me either but it's like I'm super-vigilant out of habit now. But being stressed isn't helpful for the issues anyway so Ihave to just remind myself how different he is now. Notmuch point in all thisprogress if you can't enjoy things though. Remind yourself that life is for living and how far he'scome!

(Sorry got abad spacebar problem)

I must admit I am super-vigilant myself and like your Dad my OH never thinks of any of these problems and when they come back I always say "has he been good?" answer "Yes", then ... "did you see any other dogs?" .. answer "Yes", he had a quick sniff with a boxer (Ed don't like boxers!) and then carried on", I know I would have flipped at seeing a boxer along the canal path and turned back on myself and legged it with Ed

I must now concentrate on having some fun with Ed ... he has come so far and it is only me that is holding him back You are right life is for living

[muttlover2]

[janeddie]

Just a little update .... I let Ed off for half an hour on Sunday, yes HALF AN HOUR, over the fields and he was a star, I started in the tennis courts and thought to myself just go for it We left the courts and walked the whole perimeter of the fields and he was an absolute star and I came home with a big grin on my face

[Lamington]

Well done!

[rosiemongrel]

That is wonderful! Now strike whilst the iron's hot and let him off the lead again tomorrow!

[muttlover2]

to you! How brilliant!

That is wonderful! smile.gif Now strike whilst the iron's hot and let him off the lead again tomorrow! ok.gif

I second this. The important thing is to try and create a bit of a habit so you don't think about it so much anymore and manage to get the stress out of it for yourself. Even if it's just 10-15 minutes remember...We'll be checking tomorrow to encourage you to do it!.